It’s a baby!

Oct 18, 2013 |

So, here I am at a quarter to 2 in the morning just over a week after our first baby was born finally motivating myself to write about the labour, and the time immediately after it.

Unlike most blog posts that I write, I know exactly where to start on this one so I suppose it’s a bit easier than usual.

After passing the due date of the 28th of September, the doctors decided that it would be a good idea to let nature run its course for another 10 days but after that it would be advisable to have the labour induced. This wasn’t something that we really liked the idea of for obvious reasons but after getting a few different opinions, we deferred to the experience of our medical team. Inducing a labour is quite safe. It’s not as complicated a procedure as you might think but unfortunately, there are a lot of horror stories out there and the contraction pains can be more intense. There is a risk that if the pregnancy continues ten days after the due date, the placenta can start to break down increasing the chances of babies being still born exponentially each day. That’s why in Drogheda pregnancies only go 14 days over the due date before doctors strongly advise that an induction is started. In other hospitals it’s 10 days, in some hospitals they’ll allow the pregnancy to go 28 days overdue. It’s all about monitoring and measuring the risks.

We arrived in the hospital at 2PM on Tuesday the 8th of October. A very friendly nurse led us to Emma’s room and gave us a detailed run down of what to expect during the procedure. They applied a jell substance twice and if contractions don’t proceed normally a drip is attached to administer a hormone called oxytocin. By the second application of the jell Emma was feeling very strong labour pains. By 10 past 12 on Wednesday morning we were reasonably certain that she had gone into labour and that it would only be a matter of time. Unfortunately, reasonably certain isn’t really good enough. The jell can have a side effect of causing pains similar to labour so the mid wife wasn’t able to tell for sure. Too much monitoring can actually lead to complications so a lot of time was spent hoping that the pains were natural and not a side effect of the jell. At just after 2AM I decided that if I was to be of any help for the rest of the day I needed to try to get some sleep so I left the hospital to make the short journey to my parents’ house about 2 minutes away. A lot of good it did me though as by the time I got there got the dog sorted and relaxed and actually got into bed it was about 3AM. Of course I couldn’t sleep either because I was far too nervous, worried, anxious and excited so when the phone rang at 29 minutes past 6 and I heard Emma’s urgent call to come to the hospital it took me no time at all to leap out of bed, throw on some clothes and wake my sister Céataí. I knew she was the best person to call because it would take her no time to be ready to give me a lift to the hospital. I was right! I knocked on her door and was met with the response of “You need a lift?” By 6:44AM the dog had been fed, he had pee’d and poo’d and I was over in the hospital in Emma’s room getting an update from the mid wife. Not bad ay? 15 minutes from bed to hospital room!

Although the mid wife didn’t want to examine Emma to see if labour had progressed, she was quite confident that we’d be down in the labour ward by 8AM. Unfortunately, they couldn’t provide the pain relief that Emma preferred in the anti natal area so Emma needed to wait until we moved down to the labour ward to get the gas and air. For some reason, we didn’t get down to the labour ward until nearly 10AM. Emma was quite anxious to receive the pain relief at this stage but although I could tell how difficult it was for her, she wasn’t very vocal so I don’t think the nurses, doctors or mid wives really understood. In one way this was probably the best thing that could have happened. Another woman in the labour ward was very vocal so a lot of fuss was made of her and Emma was left to one side for about an hour. I actually thought that the other person was further on through labour compared to Emma because of the way she was handling things but it turned out that Emma was quite a bit ahead of her. When the mid wife and doctor examined Emma they were surprised to find that the jell had done a great job and it was unlikely that the hormone drip would be required. Emma was well on her way through labour and I think it really hit home to the medical team how well she was handling the pain. Seriously. This isn’t something I can say enough. Emma didn’t make one sound during contractions or at any stage during labour. She used the breathing techniques that we practised at home and the gas sand air through most of labour. Considering the whole thing lasted a tiny bit under 18 hours this is absolutely remarkable in my opinion. At the start I thought themedical team were boosting Emma’s confidence by telling her how relaxed she looked and how well she was handling things but when our daughter was born and I let myself take in everything going on around me I was amazed at how many women were shouting, screaming, coursing and complaining. Please please please don’t get me wrong. I haven’t experienced labour. Obviously. I haven’t a clue what women go through. I am absolutely certain without any hint of doubt that it is the most painful thing anyone can ever go through. I have more respect for women now than I ever did because honestly, I don’t think a man would have the stamina that women show during this process. Especially when they are as strong as Emma and they refuse the stronger pain relief. I just couldn’t get over the fact that Emma stayed so relaxed throughout the whole thing. Her response to this is “their using more energy by screaming, coursing and shouting. I didn’t have that energy to waste”. In fairness, I think that’s just Emma being modest. I really just didn’t realize how well she was doing until the end. Since then it has been a constant source of amazement for me and I am very proud of her for it. Anyway, getting back to the labour. By about 1PM she was half way there but we had a good few hours left. I made arrangements for Céataí to come down to the hospital while I went off to grab a cup of coffee and something to eat. I asked Céataí to go to the hospital because although she’s my youngest sister at only 18 years young, she’s one of the most level headed people I know and I knew she would be a very calming influence. Not that was needed of course. It was great though because I knew I could go for a half an hour, let the dog relax, let myself relax and be fully confident that Emma was there with someone I could trust and rely on. Not that I couldn’t rely on y other two sisters but you know what I mean.

When I got back at around half 1 nothing had changed so we had to wait until the next scheduled check at nearly 3PM. Unfortunately very little progress had been made so a small dose of the Oxytocin hormone needed to be administered. They had only applied this when much more rapid progress was made. Within an hour Emma was feeling very different contractions. I don’t want to get into too much detail to respect her privacy but by 20 to 6 we were moved into a private birthing room for the conclusion of the labour. This is basically where the pregnant woman is fully dilated to 10CM and she can begin to push. It’s called the second stage. We got in to the room, I got the dog sorted, took out the clothes etc. for the baby and as if on cue, Emma started to get the urge to push so I was needed by her side again. When the mid wife had verified that she was fully dilated, Emma was given the go ahead to begin pushing. This is kind of strange but again, I won’t go into too much detail but it’s not at all what I expected. It’s much harder for the woman than I ever anticipated. Every single muscle in her body was used during this stage but at the same time as it was excruciating, I got the sense from her that it was a much more natural feeling than she had felt all through stage one of the labour. Pushing is made even more difficult because for the majority of the time, the woman pushes but at the end of the contraction, the baby goes back through the pelvis so it probably feels like all that effort was for nothing. Eventually though, it passes around the corner or the lump in the pelvis and much more progress is made. At this stage they say that the baby his crowned. Again, I’m really trying not to say too much here because it’s hard to describe this but also be very conscious of not embarrassing Emma. I have to say though one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life was when the baby had crowned the mid wife was able to show this to Emma using a mirror. Emma’s reaction was priceless. She said without missing a breath “wow that’s mad isn’t it!” Obviously, I couldn’t really laugh because a second later I was needed again but at the end of it I certainly did. The baby was born at 6:52PM on Wednesday the 9th of October. As soon as it was born the baby was placed on Emma’s chest. This skin to skin contact is really important as it helps to regulate the baby’s heart beat and temperature. It will be useful up to about seven months. Obviously after the baby is 6 weeks old its temperature is more regulated by clothes but until then skin to skin contact is very important. Sorry, I’m rambling off topic again. Next, the mid wife clamped the umbilical chord on two ends. She then handed me a scissors and guided my hand to allow me to cut it. I was nervous about doing this of course but when they offered to let me do it I hesitantly said yes. It’s not something that many fathers get to do so I was very thankful to be given the opportunity. Cutting the umbilical chord isn’t as easy as you might think. It’s not a simple cut. You cut a few times before finally getting through it. I thought I wasn’t doing it right after a few times but Emma and the mid wife strongly encouraged me to keep going because they could obviously see that I was making progress. I’m really thankful that I did it now. After this the mid wife gave Emma the opportunity to tell me the sex of the baby. I thought this was really nice because obviously most fathers would be able to tell when the mother checks. It meant a lot that the mid wife gave Emma the pleasure of telling me that we had a daughter. She was then taken away to a corner for a few minutes to be weighed, cleaned up and given a top to tow check. This is a standard procedure for all babies born in almost every hospital. Fortunately, in Drogheda the facility for this is also in the birthing room so the baby is never taken away from its mother. I think this is very important and it takes less time so the baby is returned very quickly.

When all of that was done and Emma was given something to eat and drink, a nurse took Emma to have a shower and I was left with our daughter. This for me was something that I was terrified about for weeks. I didn’t know how I was going to handle minding a new born that had only been introduced to the world moments earlier. Fortunately, it was no bother at all. She had fed a few minutes before but she was still searching for another feed but when I ran out of ideas to get her to stop searching I tried some skin to skin contact. It probably looked really strange if someone had walked into the room to see a topless man walking around with a new born baby but it worked like magic. She curled up in my arms and went to sleep very peacefully. A mid wife that I was speaking to a day later said this was actually the best thing to do. The baby needs to learn that every skin to skin contact doesn’t mean that it’s time to be fed and comfort can be given by me as well. In saying that, for a baby, she’s particularly easy to keep happy. Just interact with her when she’s awake, keep her nappy clean and when she’s hungry, pass her over to her mother to be fed.

Being the amazingly thoughtful wife that we all know that she is, Emma suggested back in August that we call our baby Méabh if we had a girl. This means a lot to my family as my granny’s name Is Maeve. As I have said very publicly on this website, Facebook and Twitter, my granny is a legendary woman. She is one of a kind. More people in Drogheda and Ireland have benefited from her work than will ever understand. From working for the elderly, to campaigning for better facilities in hospitals, getting houses built for those who need them and being instrumental in the creation of a woman’s refuge she has been involved in hundreds of efforts that have had a tangible and long lasting positive impact on our community. It’s a shame in a lot of ways that she continues to be a very private woman. She refuses to allow us to publicise all of her accomplishments. Calling our daughter Méabh is our little way of honouring what she has done. We’re just glad that my granny said yes and allowed us to use her name!

There you have it. I hope I’ve given you enough information without offending or embarrassing Emma.

Failte Méabh You’re keeping us up until all hours but we’re glad you’re finally here.

Before I finish, there are a few people I really want to thank. They will never read this but I want to have their names written down so we don’t forget who were the most helpful. Thanks to Deirdre, the main mid wife during labour and Catherine her student who may have actually done more work under Deirdre’s direction. She certainly did more of the paper work. The two of them were calm, very descriptive, respectful and informal. They also loved Nama and they went out of their way to ensure that I was comfortable having him there. Not once during the labour did anyone in the hospital even so much as speak to him but when I wasn’t sure if he should be there or not they assured both of us that it was absolutely fine. I also need to say another very special thanks to Emily. Emily was the mid wife on the post natal ward. Unlike some of the doctors and consultants she took the time to talk through all of our options with us. When I challenged a decision of a doctor or consultant she explained to me in a very un patronizing way why I might want to reconsider or if I was right she gave us good reasons as to why we shouldn’t take the standard advice. I strongly believe in not taking everything that doctors or consultants say as hard fact until I have heard it from at least two people. People like Emily agreed with this and took the time to describe why decisions had been made. I may not have always agreed with them but once I was given the facts I was happy to go along. In my humble opinion, it would have been irresponsible to blindly accept recommendations just because one consultant had that particular opinion. Because as I’ve come to understand, most of the conclusions reached by medical practitioners is based on theory and trial and error. This is obviously based on a great understanding and in most cases a lot of experience but our baby is no test subject. Just like we are not test subjects. I don’t believe in medicating every problem because that doesn’t solve it in all situations. It just cures the symptoms. Take the vitamin D tablets that parents are advised to give to babies for the first year. I believe this is an one for all fix. Vitamin D helps calcium get absorbed into the body. It is naturally created when the body is exposed to sun light. The theory is that in Ireland we don’t have enough sun light so children don’t have enough vitamin D. I firstly asked how then have children had enough vitamin D for the past few thousand years. One person finally told me that it’s because children don’t spend enough time outside now so to fix this problem the tablets should be administered. Simple answer to that? Stop medicating the problem and fix it by encouraging society to spend more time outside and assist with this by promoting community activities and investing in outdoor hobbies such as walking and cycling. It was also pointed out to me that Ireland is now a malty cultural society so babies who have dark skin may not receive enough light from our sun for vitamin D to be created as the pigment of their skin requires more light in order for this to happen. Obviously because in countries that receive more sun during the year their bodies don’t need as much vitamin D to be created when they get a glimpse of the sun.

I was going to end it here but its 9:30 in the morning. No, I didn’t write all through the night. I fell asleep for a few hours about two paragraphs ago. Méabh actually slept for six hours! Before you start jumping up and down with happiness, she fed for about four hours solid before that. I think Emma thought she was never going to get some sleep but feeding and all that kind of thing is a topic for the next blog post. I was reminded to say how well Nama handled labour, the birth and the day’s just afterword. So, to keep this brief, he was absolutely brilliant. The days were long, the routine went all over the place and I couldn’t really give him the attention he would normally receive. It was the kind of work load that you’d give a guide dog that was four or five and well able to handle really different situations but for Nama, although he needs a lot of play time, for about a week he had very little and he did exceptionally well. I can’t explain it adequately really. He learned his way around the parts of the hospital that I needed to find, he gave me the confidence and independence to get to the hospital within minutes of getting a call, he got the occasional rub from Emma while she was in labour and then he sat under a chair or a table for another few hours while I attended to Emma and patiently waited for Méabh to arrive. It’s not something that I’d recommend for every guide dog user because it’s a fine line between having the dog as a mobility aid and keeping the dog out of the way of the meidcal staff and of course. Out of your way as well. When your trying to be by the side of your wife the last thing you need to consider is how your guide dog is keeping. It worked for me but it may not work for me the next time and it may or may not work for you as well. Just be warned.

40 weeks. D day should be soon.

Oct 2, 2013 |

Technically Emma is 40 weeks and 4 days through the pregnancy. I say technically because it would seem from a little research that doctors get it wrong more times than not when predicting the due date. So, although we’re a little anxious, frustrated and impatient, we’re not at all concerned that we’re still waiting for wiggles to arrive. Yes. Wiggles. It’s the name I’ve given the baby since around thirteen weeks. You’d understand if you had felt some of the movements I’ve felt.

We have names picked of course. We’ll not be writing them here just yet.

\I actually wasn’t going to blog about much of this because it’s a very private thing however, as has been pointed out to me, some people use video, some use photographs and others use audio. I tend to use written accounts of things that happened years ago to bring back memories. So, I’m going to write from time to time here with an update. If it’s of interest to you I’m delighted. If not, Tuff.

Pregnancy is absolutely amazing isn’t it? From talking to friends for years who have gone through the beginnings of fatherhood, I had this idea that pregnant women were hormonal, hard to live with and very volatile. I couldn’t have been any more wrong. Emma has been fine throughout the entire thing. Of course, she has had her up’s and down’s but I really have to say that she has handled it all brilliantly. She’s exercised when needed, she’s eaten and drank properly and she has followed every piece of advice that the doctors have given her.

I really never knew or understood anything to do with pregnancy before. Of course, like most people, various women have grabbed my hand and insisted that I feel their stomach when their unborn baby was having a bit of a dance but I was far too uncomfortable with that to actually grasp the gravity of it. It’s amazing when you consider the transition. Seven months ago, I started to feel the bump form. Then I felt tiny little movements that felt more like vibrations. Then I felt the kicks. It’s been incredible. No, that word is too used. It is actually nothing less than awesome to feel a life evolve. I’m a little jealous of women as they get to experience this miracle first hand. I’m also more than a little bit proud of Emma for going through this with such confidence and grace. I know it must be really difficult. I know that she wants to be as active as she is ordinarily and I know that she is living for that day when she can hold our baby in her arms but she has been great throughout the entire pregnancy.

We are very fortunate to have great friends and family around us so when the time comes we have no shortage of numbers to call. Emma’s not all that comfortable with me driving her over to the hospital when she’s in labour and I’m sure a few of you are going to take her side so it’s quite handy that we have a lot of people around to are very eager to help. Having people around is also great as it has meant we have more than enough places to store all the paraphernalia needed for the average baby. I think we have everything that we need now. Buggy, baby monitor, swing chair thing, clothes, baby furniture, more clothes, bottles, more clothes, a Moses basket and a baby carrier. That’s only what I can think of off the top of my head.

So there you have it. We’re almost there. I’ll have another post shortly.

Pregnancy update

Jul 15, 2013 |

Someone on Twitter recently asked me how Emma is doing and how the pregnancy was getting on. So I thought I should write a brief update.

We’re 29 weeks in now and all is looking good. We don’t know the sex of the baby yet and nor do we want to. Some things are better left as a surprise I think.

We’ve had a few scans at this stage as you might expect. A few done by the hospital and a few less sophisticated ones where the heart beat can be heard by Emma’s GP. I have to say one thing. People kept telling me that it would become more real to me when I heard the heartbeat. I have to say that I didn’t get any sudden bolt of realization and no penny suddenly dropped for me. I think I realized the gravity of the whole thing very early on so hearing the heart beat just reaffirmed that. I have no doubt that my feelings on the entire thing will change when the baby is born of course.

I was a little struck at the lack of centralized access to Emma’s records when we had our early visits to the hospital and I had a bit of an argument with the first mid wife that we met. She was of the opinion that we don’t live in a perfect world so it was simply the reality of the situation that not all records were available to all areas of the hospital. I really wasn’t happy with this. Surely records or notes that are recorded in one department should be available to all other departments. That still seems strange to me. How can you care for someone properly when you don’t have all the facts? They learned very quickly that day that I will not be quietened by vague answers. Not that there was anything wrong of course but let’s face it, during a pregnancy you can’t take any chances. It’s really important that nurses and doctors make the right decisions if problems arise. How can they do that effectively with any kind of certainty if they don’t have all the facts available to them?

Anyway, putting my rant aside, we’ve been taking the advice of doctors by enjoying this pregnancy as they put it. We’re getting out during the weekends, socializing and making the most of time together. We know that for a while after the baby is born things will be a little hectic and if we’re lucky enough to go through future pregnancies then we won’t have the freedom that we’re enjoying now.

I asked Emma to write a guest blog post but unfortunately, she won’t do it.

Do you have any suggestions for names? We’re looking for Irish names and it’s not the easiest thing to do. Fortunately, we’re mostly in agreement of names that we do and don’t like.

11 weeks left!

My new job in Document Centric Solutions

Jul 1, 2013 | , , ,

I was in the process of writing a great blog post early this morning on the way to work when I heard a click and my battery died. I booted the laptop up again this evening and very strangely, Microsoft Word didn’t have an auto saved copy. Strange but probably for the best because I think I was rambling.

I’m writing today to tell you about what’s been happening in my professional life over the past few months. I had a number of discussions with Fujitsu surrounding where I wanted to go and where they saw me going. Our objectives didn’t exactly match so we agreed that I would look for a new job. I certainly didn’t take this decision lightly. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be such a great time to look for a new job. With Emma expecting our first child in a matter of months I need stability and reliability at work. Turning my life upside down isn’t really what the doctor ordered if you know what I mean. Anyway, I began looking for a new challenge and opportunity in April and in May I was offered a role in a very small company in Dublin. This company have been about for about thirteen years and the number of customers using their products has grown every year.

The name of the company I now work with is DCS Docs. DCS stands for Document Centric Solutions but when you look at the array of products that they have developed, documentation is kind of the most unlikely description you could possibly find. DCS write software that manages contracts, payments, HR, resource provisioning and reporting. That’s just scratching the surface. I’m there two weeks now and I’m still trying to get up to speed with everything they provide.

My job title is support manager but this is only one part of what I do. As you might expect in such a small company, people need to be able to take on multiple roles simultaneously. This means I’m also managing project resources, implementing their new VOIP phone system, coordinating with their out sourced IT provider, stream lining their licenses and updating their internal network.

Although I’m a technical person and I am quite happy to get out of providing support to end users, the opportunity to build up a support team is something that I think I’m going to enjoy. It’s not the first time I’ve done this kind of thing. When working in Stream, I was promoted to the role of technical lead for the Sybase 365 team but for various reasons, this role became very managerial and most of my tasks revolved around making 19 individuals into a 24 hour a day 7 days a week support team that were rock solid. I found this very difficult. Allowing for 19 separate personalities and trying to manage them was a very high pressure environment was way outside the direction I wanted my career to go. It was a huge relief to me when Novell asked me to go back on their support team as their technical lead because it got me away from the managerial side of the business. Prior to working on the Sybase team I was a support engineer on the Novell team so it was great to be asked to go back at a higher level.

I was honestly worried about going back into a manager’s position when I started with DCS but I’m not in the slightest bit worried any more. The three people that work in support are outstanding. They all have incredible motivation to get work done and they take advice really easily.

The role is also very technical. I am working with software that has been developed by DCS so I am constantly using applications such as Visual studio, SQL management studio, the SQL profiler and the SQL optimizer.

Going from a system administrator role to a developer support role is actually really difficult. It takes a lot of effort to let the system administration jobs go to someone else. This is hopefully going to benefit DCS though as I have experience with implementing systems in a large enterprise environment and a small company with only five employees. DCS haven’t had a system administrator in house for quite a while so I’m hoping that my influence will give their internal IT some direction.

One thing that I should say here. I obviously can’t give too much away about the software that DCSDocs have written just in case I step over any lines but their core product is absolutely amazing. If you know about the entity framework, consider this made 13 years ago but with a really usable graphical and web user interface to take over from programmatically creating classes and functions. It’s just stunning the direction that this company took so many years ago when Microsoft were still thinking along the lines of classic ASP. That kind of innovation is continuing today.

I’m finding the work very different and challenging and I’m getting on really well with the people that I’m working with so I really think this was a good move for me. I’m missing Fujitsu and I’m missing the exposure to the systems I had there but for a lot of different reasons, I know that couldn’t continue indefinitely.

A weekend in Buncrana.

Jun 5, 2013 |

Emma and I spent the weekend in Buncrana in Donegal with two good friends Jenny and Nicky. It was something that we had hoped to do for ages so it was fantastic to finally get the chance.

Nicky had been talking to be about how great Buncrana is for months and I’m glad to say it certainly didn’t disappoint. Nicky might be biest of course but I don’t think his description did it justice. Jenny’s house is like a palace. I asked her if she’d swap but she refused. It’s a pity really. There’s a lovely walk around that area that I’d love to do every day on the way to work. Seriously. It’s one of the quietest environments in the country!

If you’re ever in Buncrana you absolutely have to go to a restaurant called the Railway tavern and Firebox grill. Technically it’s about four miles outside Buncrana but regardless. It’s a fantastic place. They easily do one of the nicest stakes in the country. Nicky didn’t stop talking about the place last week and I can certainly see the attraction now. After eating a band set up in the corner. Emma noticed that the bodhran player had a guitar strap attached to the rim so we went over to have a closer look. As always happens in these situations, I was instructed to play a few tunes with them so I got up on stage a few times.

After dinner we went to a small quiet pub called the cottage in the town of Buncrana. It wasn’t very busy at the time but we didn’t get there until well after 11. I just had to mention it because the Guinness there was just lovely.

I went for a walk on my own on Sunday afternoon at around 1 O’clock down by the beach and through a park area. I needed to talk about it here because it was by far one of the nicest walks I have had in years. The sun was shining so that was nice enough but the smells as I walked through were just amazing. At one stage I could smell the beach and hear the water lapping against the shore and a minute later all I could hear were birds in the trees and the sound of my dog’s paws tapping on the path. At the same time, a strong floral cent filled my senses and it was like sticking my head into a flower pot. A few minutes later I was on gravel with the satisfying crunch under my feet and then we hit a downward slope toward the smell of freshly cut grass. I remembered the advice given to me by one of the guide dog instructors to take opportunities like this to play with the dog so during the entire walk I was playing with Nama’s tail, running or skipping or just grabbing his nose. We must have looked crazy at times skipping around a path but he enjoyed every minute of it. The walk was around very winding paths that dipped and rose with no regularity so we both had great fun. For that little walk alone, I would recommend anyone to visit Buncrana. For the stake and the nice Guinness, I’d recommend that you just move up permanently. It’s wile good. 🙂

A huge thanks to Jenny and Nicky. We both had a brilliant weekend.

Abortion in Ireland

May 20, 2013 |

I just wanted to write on the topic of abortion for a moment.  No. Don’t close the page yet. I really want to put a few points forward to you and I’d like you to write back with your own thoughts.

Firstly, I am neither for or against abortion. I don’t believe it is something that can be denied or approved across the board because every case seems to be different.

I know three people who have had an abortion. The first had an abortion sixteen years ago. She regrets it to this day.  She wakes at night thinking that she can see her child at the end of her bed crying. She thinks it was going to be a son.  She has come to the realization that it was the right thing to do but it took her a long time to get to that point.  At the time, her mother and sister dragged her to a hospital in England without giving her a choice.  She thanks them now because she didn’t understand at the time but at the same time, she can’t really forgive them either.  It is something that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

The second person had an abortion four years ago.  Her mother and father found out that she was pregnant and they bet her so badly that she lost the child.  It wasn’t an abortion in the strictest sense of course.  However, the life of the unborn child was snuffed out none the less. The woman in this case actually forgives her mother as she recognises that she was in no state at the time to raise a child.  Without the burden of a child she has gone on to finish a degree and she is working in a career that will suit her for life.  She is terrified that if she gets pregnant again that the child will not develop properly as a result of the injuries she sustained at the hands of her parents.

Finally, the most recent story was about a year ago. I won’t say much about this because I’d be afraid it would hit a nerve and the person might read this post. However, she is why I am writing today.  The legislators in Ireland are trying to save women that have suicidal tendencies as a result of being pregnant.  I completely understand this.  If a woman has been sexually assaulted and the result of that is an unwanted child then that woman should in my opinion have the right to choose what happens to her body and her life in this instance.  However, I need you to understand something that’s much more important. All three women that I know felt like ending their own lives after aborting the lives of their unborn children. I have sat there while women fall to pieces after returning from an abortion. It is one of the most difficult things that I have experienced. Imagine what it is like for them! One particular friend is still suffering.  I am constantly worried about her because although she seems strong, she is tearing herself up over the same questions that I think everyone who has an abortion asks.  “Is there anything I could have done?” “Could I have kept it?” “Have I made the right choice?”  These are questions that never leave them. The best that they can hope for is another chance at it in years to come.

It makes me feel very sick but even angrier to hear such a sad, personal and difficult topic thrown around the political circles like any other political issue.  I wish that TD’s, senators and ministers would remember that Abortion is rarely a solution. It is actually what causes the wound. It might help in the short term but women need to live with the decision for the rest of their lives.

To finish, I will say that behind an abortion is a man. Instead of the spotlight shining on abortions, I’d rather see it shining on the useless scabs in society who father children and don’t stand up to their responsibilities. If it was up to me, any man who walked away from a child would have their fruits cut off.  No. I’m not messing.

As I said, I’m no expert. I don’t think any man can really have the right to have an opinion on this.

The Lion King in Dublin

May 17, 2013 | , ,

Emma, Jenny, Nicky and I went to the performance of the Lion King in the Bord Gáis Energy Theatre or as I rather call it, the Grand Canal Theatre last night. We chose that show because there was an audio description facility. This meant that we were each given a small headset with the exception of Emma of course so that we could hear descriptions of the activity on stage. Audio description of this type of show is brilliant as obviously, although the music is the primary focus, the plot is almost equally as important and without the audio description many of the subtleties such as movements, scene changes and gestures can be lost leading to a less than fulfilling understanding of what’s going on. This was probably the first time I’ve ever enjoyed a musical as much and it’s in no small part due to the fact that I was able to keep up with the plot so easily. Of course, one of the other reasons is that the music and the story line in the Lion king are so good! The music and the musicians that performed it just couldn’t be better.

I really liked that although the story line was rigidly followed, as it should have been, the cast related to the audience and broke away from the story line in two obvious parts. The first was when the character Zazu made a joke that the stage curtains were like a bad ikea shower curtain. The second time that they really diverted from the story line was during one of the last scenes where Simba is beginning to fight back for his kingdom. He tells Timon and Pumba to create a diversion. They offer to wear drag and dance to river dance. At that, they come back on stage dressed up in Irish dancing costumes dancing to the main river dance theme. Both diversions were absolutely hilarious and they really helped to encourage the audience.

The singers and performers were absolutely astonishingly good. African songs seem incredibly difficult to sing but they did it flawlessly. The character of Rafeeky completely blew me away. Her range and skill was nothing less than an ultimate pleasure to listen to.

You know that music is good when you feel cold all over while sitting in a really hot room. For many of the performances last night I was freezing. I would definitely go to another rmusical again. Especially if they are as well described as the Lion King was last night.

Closing on Sundays for the 21st century.

May 12, 2013 |

If you go to www.wilmakarels.nl on a Sunday, your likely to get a message telling you that as they believe in God, they close for Sunday.  Of course, your welcome to spend money with them during any other time of the week. But, on Sunday, they don’t want your business.

Now, ok. It’s just my opinion, but that’s nuts! )

 

My guide dog Nama after six months

May 8, 2013 | ,

Welcome to May. Sorry I haven’t written here in such a long time. I was looking at my feed reader this morning and while grumbling to myself that my favourite blogs such as Paws for thought and K8 the Gr8 hadn’t been updated I felt a sudden pang of guilt for neglecting my own little corner of the blogosphere for so long. The thing is, there is a lot happening at the moment, but I’m out of the habit of blogging. So, when I sit down, so many topics are ready to be written about that it becomes a task of epic proportions. This blog is less about what has been happening and more an acknowledgement of having Nama, my guide dog for over six months and the success of this new working partnership.

Looking at everything Nama has done would take far too long. So instead, let me highlight some of the main points.

At a basic level, Nama has travelled to and from work with me every day from Monday to Friday since the middle of October. This might sound like a simple task however; consider that I live about 50km away from work so on an average week he travels to Dublin five times. That is about 240 bus trips in six months. Putting another slant on this, that’s 12000KM that he has travelled excluding other trips to Carlow, Galway, and Belfast and of course Dundalk. It’s a short trip to the bus station and slightly longer to the train station in Drogheda but our route to work in Dublin from getting off the bus or train is quite dynamic. Depending on the day, the weather or our mood, we can walk for quite a while before getting to the office. Changing routes keeps things interesting and a long walk first thing in the morning clears the head. We also vary our route at lunch time. Instead of just going to Stephens green and back we try to venture to different areas on the way back to work. It might be a quick diversion down Grafton Street or it could be a longer walk down by the department of Finance, by Pierce Street, across the quays, through temple bar, over college green and back up Nassau Street. The walk during lunch time blows away the cobwebs and gives Nama a good challenge to focus on. We regularly travel to several buildings in Dublin city centre during the day as well depending on the work we are doing so he has quite a busy working day. In the evenings, we sometimes go for a leisurely walk around Drogheda. I’ve got back into amateur radio lately so I can be seen walking around Drogheda with a dog in one hand and a radio in the other. That’s his standard working life. That sounds taxing enough but it’s the boring part. It’s the part we do because we have to.

The interesting work is when we head off to Carlow, Galway, Belfast or Dundalk. When he’s thrown into situations that are quite unusual and interesting. For example, during the recent pan celt festival in Carlow, he didn’t have a huge amount of work to do but he needed to walk to and from various sessions. He then had to tuck himself away quietly until I was ready to go. Some of these sessions lasted a very long time. Of course, walking between sessions meant that he was working through areas that he wasn’t familiar with and the idea of a defined route went out the window. For such a new dog this might seem like too much but he took it in his stride. In fact, on the Sunday, we had some time to kill while waiting on a train home so we set off walking. I had the idea that we’d just walk in a block formation and we’d end up somewhere that he would recognise and I’d be able to get him to find a land mark that he recognised. This works well usually. I can tell when he’s recognising something that we’ve been to before. He pulls into it with a lot of determination. So, when he finds it, I can orientate myself and give him more decisive commands to reach our destination. This was going well until we got to an area with a big open space and I lost my straight line for a moment. Little did I know, Nama was following the path to maintain the straight line but it didn’t feel right to me. He resorted to his usual giddy location of familiar land marks so we found where we were again and set off in the right direction. Although I thought we had gone wildly off course, we followed a perfect route around a large block area. It’s this willingness to work after being so quiet for so long and to handle new situations that really sets Nama apart. Of course, he’s not a machine. He has his own needs but I’ll get to these shortly.

One of his big trips in the past six months was a quick stay in France. We were invited over there to play music. He flew over and back with me without a single problem. The toileting facilities were about a ten minute walk away from the hotel but that didn’t bother him either. Again, he sat quietly when I was busy and in fact, he came on stage with me twice because I didn’t have someone to watch him for me. He doesn’t care about sound checks. He is more than happy to sleep through them! He visited the usual tourist attractions with me such as the church of Nostradamus, the burial tomb of napoleon and of course the Eiffel tower. ON the Eiffel tower we went right up to the highest floor and although it was very windy we walked around the external balcony. Absolutely none of it phased him. I personally hate the sensation of heights but it was exhilarating to be up there. Especially with Nama by my side guiding me around. I’ve said it before; I trust a guide dog more than I trust most sighted guides. There are obviously exceptions but if a stranger offers me assistance, I’ll use the dog. The way I see it, the dog has trained his whole life to guide me. The stranger hasn’t a clue. So, it was a little comforting to have Nama up there with me. I will also say that it is hard to explain how empowering and freeing it was to have Nama with me in France. I didn’t need to depend on anyone from the group I was with in unfamiliar areas, I could go off for a walk on my own around Paris and I could be a lot more self-sufficient. Parris isn’t the easiest place to walk around independently when you can’t see however although there was a language barrier, the locals were very helpful at crossings and areas where I needed a prod in the right direction. I’d definitely go back and in the future when I’m traveling, if it’s at all possible, I’ll have no hesitation in bringing Nama with me again.

Nama isn’t perfect. He’s far from it and in fact, he’s a lot of work. He has a serious problem with food distraction, he gets bored easily and if he gets an idea into his head it takes a few minutes to get him to snap out of it. He also took a long time to firm up on the basics of guiding when we got home. For example, he was very bad in crowds. One of the instructors noticed the potential for him to be a bit careless while on training so I was given some good tips to enforce the desired behaviour. The problem was that he was walking me straight into people, not moving far enough away from people who were walking toward us or brushing off people walking in the same direction as us. Most of these problems stemmed from an observation that he developed that people would move out of our way when we approached. It took me a few months to make Nama realize that it was his job to move out of the way. Not the other pedestrians. He got better slowly and he’s now at the point that when we’re in built up areas, I can tell him to be careful in a very relaxed tone and his awareness of the people around us is brilliant. One bit of advice we got when I was encountering this problem was to slow down and give Nama more time to react. This actually made no difference. I know with experience to slow down in crowds so I had already done this. He simply didn’t seem to care that we were walking into people. It was also really hard to correct him for doing it incorrectly because when we hit people they automatically assumed that they had done something wrong. We reinforced the correct response by simulating the problem repeatedly over a few weeks and then using the responses from the simulations in every day work. Even now, I have to stay vigilant because with all of his little quirks, he can regress easily if I don’t pay attention. So, the type of work that I enjoyed with Freddie where I could switch off and let him get me from A to B isn’t possible with Nama yet. However, it should go without saying that we are only six months into our working partnership so I nor expect or anticipate this yet. I mention it because it is something I am aspiring to. I will say that it’s important not to associate one working partnership with another but if I was to break that rule for a moment, I will say that Freddie’s guiding style and his ability to avoid stationary and moving obstacles is far superior to Nama’s. However, Nama is more resilient than Freddie. So, there are always strengths and weaknesses in every guide dog.

As I said earlier, Nama isn’t a machine. He has needs to maintain and establish a good working standard however these needs are easy to meet. Nama needs lots and lots of play time. IT might be while standing at a bus stop with him trying to grab my coat sleeve, or it might be at work when he decides that while I’m not too busy he’s going to come over to play with my shoe. We play first thing in the morning, when we get home from work and several times during the evening. He needs a lot of physical contact while playing as well. Other dogs might be mouthy when their young but I think he’ll remain that way. He is only rough with me and at times I’ve had to get him to settle down but he absolutely loves playing with his mouth. They say dogs hold stress in the muscles around their mouth so I spend a lot of time when he’s winding down playing with that area. He is quite destructive on toward dog toys so unfortunately the only toy he’s allowed walk around with is the Kong. I like him to have at least one toy to be able to bring around because it means he has something else to grab on to apart from me!

I was told when I got Nama first that he was quite aloof. This means emotionally and / or physically distant. I have no idea where they got this impression from. Nama is the clingiest dog I have ever met. I thought Freddie was my shadow. Nama is just ridiculous! I can’t go anywhere. He follows me around the house, around the office and around anywhere else we go. At home, he sits outside the bathroom door until I come out. IF I’m washing the dishes, he lies right behind my feet. If I’m hoovering the stairs he even tries to come with me. One friend thinks that this could be a sign of sensitivity but I don’t think so. He’s done this right from the start. When I was in the centre he tried to follow me around after the first few days. From getting home he has continued this. I’ve tried sending him away but he goes a few metres away and lies down again. If I close the door so that he’s in another room he starts crying. I’m not complaining. Far from it. We have an incredibly strong bond and that’s vitally important in attaining a lasting and productive working partnership.

So there you have it. I’m delighted with Nama’s progress. It should go without saying that I believe he has more growing to do and he needs to improve in some areas but we’re through our first six months. Let’s see where the next six months takes us. Already, I’m delighted to say that the best acknowledgement of the incredibly high standard of work that he does is to say that he has given me the freedom, independence and mobility that I haven’t enjoyed since before retiring Freddie.

Looking for a new job.

Apr 15, 2013 | ,

Some of you may know that I’m in the middle of searching for a new job at the moment. I have been working with Fujitsu for five years now and I must say, without any reservation I will tell you that it has been the most enjoyable five years ever. Fujitsu are a great company and the technology that I have had exposure to here probably can’t be matched by any other company. Most people after working in a company for five years find it hard to motivate them to get out of bed in the morning. I genuinely look forward to getting to my desk to tackle the days challenges. I don’t under value this. Coming to Fujitsu from a very unfair and very inflexible employer I really understand how horrible life can get when you hate your job. It’s not a nice situation to be in and to be honest with you, because Fujitsu are so far on the other end of the scale it has taken me a long time to make the decision to begin looking for a new role. When I find something new, I will very carefully weigh up the pros and cons of moving because I would never like to be in that situation again.

I am looking for a very different challenge now. I would like to remain in a system administrator type role but I would like to work for a small to mid-size company. I’d love the task of building up an infrastructure on a tight budget while at the same time working toward implementing the standards that would be found in a large enterprise network.

In a contract that I finished about six months ago, I was asked to upgrade the computer systems in a mid-size company with170 users. They were running on out dated systems and the connectivity between various offices in the buildings was established using a mixture of hardware. Their budget was very small and the task was very ambitious. With only a few thousand Euro they wanted a new active directory environment, Exchange, File servers, IIS hosting, an application server and a firewall / proxy combination. All this and they could really only afford two servers. On top of all this, they wanted the systems to have resiliency.

Unfortunately, the IT staff in the company had no experience with command line environments so using Linux servers was out of the question. That was unfortunate as it would have saved on licencing and system requirements. I decided to use Windows 2008R2 Core, Hyper-V and a spare workstation with more RAM and hard disks and a RAID controller to give them 2 domain controllers, 2 exchange servers, 2 file servers, 1 IIS server, and 1 Application server and thanks to some refurbished hardware, they also have a machine running PFSense for their firewall and proxying needs.

The system that I implemented has its limitations because of the lack of physical hosts but it is a huge step up compared to their old single server infrastructure. They have a high level of resiliency and the work was completed under the budget.

What is unfortunate from my perspective is that I know how their environment can be vastly improved. By insisting on a purchasing policy for all technical equipment the environment would become standards based within a few years, by implementing service level agreements, expectations would be set for users and they would be happier with the systems that they depend on. By implementing a formal helpdesk system would help manage the time spent by the IT staff fixing problems reported by end users while also giving end users exposure to the progress of their problems and finally documenting systems would help new IT staff get up to speed freeing up time for senior admins to concentrate on important infrastructural enhancements.

Basically, what it boils down to is I have the experience now of administering a reasonably large environment. I have followed and implemented best practices and I have completed more change controls than I would like to remember. I would now like to help a company that wants to mature their IT environment by giving them the benefit of my experience and my enthusiasm to tackle new problems.

As I see it, there are a few really important parts to making a reliable, efficient and secure computer system.

  • Use standard components… When possible buy hardware from one manufacturer.
  • Plan in advance and keep stakeholders informed.
  • When possible automate. When you can’t automate, make and follow a checklist.
  • Set realistic expectations for end users.
  • Document everything. You never know when you’re going to get hit by a bus.
  • Set policies. They set expectations for users, protect equipment, and promote standards.
  • Backup everything possible. Store backups in remote locations.

I could go on and on and on. But you get the idea. I have a passion for IT and I would really love to move to a company where I have more responsibility, more autonomy and more flexibility.

If you or someone you know are looking for a system administrator fitting my description please get in contact with me or download my CV.