Today 18th October marks one year since I qualified with my third guide dog. As any follower of this blog or my updates on various social networks will already know, it has been one hell of a year. In fairness to you, I’ve been saying that almost every year for about five or six years. This past year has been life changing though. Let’s see. I qualified with Nama, I got married, I went on honeymoon and experienced things people could only dream of, I found out I was going to be a father, I changed job and finally I became a father to our beautiful daughter Méabh. Yes. It really has been one hell of a year!
Of course I would have done all this without Nama by my side but it wouldn’t have been half as enjoyable or easy. As I’ve always said, Nama is a bullet proof, resourceful, independent, intelligent, obedient and loyal companion and guide dog. Over both Freddie and Ike he can handle more work, more changes and more upheavals. However, one thing I will say is he’s not gentle at all. I know Ike would be a lot more cautious and a lot easier going around now. Nama is really hardy but he expects everyone else to be hardy as well. That’s the way I like him though.
I’ve written before here about what Nama has been doing in his first year so I won’t repeat myself. Since September however Nama’s work load has really decreased. I have been working a lot from home so I’ve had to artificially boost his work day. I think this has been a very unwelcome change from his perspective because he was really enjoying the work load I was giving him every day. The exercise was also doing us both a lot of good but overall, commuting every day was not doing my personal life or social life any favours. I’ve been commuting for the past ten years so although it’s not really the best thing for Nama, I have to do what’s right for me and my new family. It’s something that continues to weigh very heavily on my mind though.
Nama is full of energy. His idea of a perfect life seems to be an equal balance of constant play and work. With the changes in my work life and the even bigger changes in my personal and family life, poor Nama’s needs have been pushed to one side. I’m really hoping that things will balance out again. Until then, I’m feeling very guilty because he really deserves more than I’m giving him at the moment.
That’s really what this post is about.
With all the changes that we have gone through in the past year, I’m really finding it difficult to juggle everything at once. Take today for example. We were over in my parents’ house for an hour or two. I had to go over to look at a computer problem that my mother encountered last night but because she had cleaned the house this morning I felt bad bringing Nama with me. He has been shedding a lot lately and the fact that I haven’t really had or taken the time to groom him regularly over the past two weeks really hasn’t helped. Anyway, we got back to the house after a while and I knew Nama would be very happy to see us. Ordinarily I’d spend the first few minutes giving him attention, letting him relieve himself and generally making it worth his while waiting for me to get back but today, it was raining and Emma’s not really herself yet so I had to open the house, go back to the car to bring the baby stuff in, go back again to bring in some shopping and then go back to dispose of some recyclable waste that was left over from the packaging. All this was probably done within about five minutes because I ran in and out as fast as I possibly could but I felt very guilty as Nama was moaning and crying in the living room waiting for me to go in to him. I have so many things to do at the moment from taking care of the baby, taking care of Emma and taking care of Nama that unfortunately, for the moment Nama needs to take less of a priority for a while. This leaves absolutely no time for me of course and when I have time to myself, I have absolutely no motivation left to actually get any work done. I’ve taken on some work outside my nine to five work but I’m so far behind that it seems like an absolutely impossible task. I know that it’s just that I’ve taken on a bit more than I can handle at the moment but unfortunately it’s meaning that I’m feeling particularly bad and guilty for poor Nama. Mainly because he’s been so good in his first year of work that I think I should be doing better for him.
Reading back over that it sounds like a poor me post. It’s not. Things will get better. I’ll find more time for Nama and my priorities will get back on track again. For the moment I don’t think I will ever get out of this busy stressful stage but I know it will happen eventually.
The extra money that I’m trying to raise will go into finishing a big chunk of work that I want to do before the end of the year. I know that when it’s all done all of this will be worth it.