Do I constantly have to proove my self? When will that end?

Wow I’m in a bad mood this morning.

So, yeah, blah blah blah, I got the promotion and that’s fantastic. I’m actually delighted. Well, I was. until I was told of a conversation that went on with the people I’m about to be working with and my boss.

Now, I’m use to this conversation. People are still stupidly blinded by the misconseption that because I cant see, I cant do certain parts of the occupation that I’ve chosen.

Fine. If you don’t know me, I’ll except that from the outside, it may seem that certain parts of networking and server hardware can pose certain accessibility problems. But, I equally expect and demand that if you know me then that stupid misconseption should be resolved a long time ago.

So, to find out that people who should know me and who have worked with me all be it from a distance still think I cant do my job pisses me off so much that I’m livid while typing this. More than livid. I’m some word that I cant think of at the moment.

I am amazed! shocked! stunned that people still doubt my ability because of something they see as a disability. I’ve argued before that blindness isn’t the disability, the environment you are in is what disables you from doing something. If universal design policies were adopted by manufacturors of hardware and developers of software then nothing would be inaccessible. Hay, It’s not a perfect world. Not everything is accessible but that’s where independent problem solving comes in. fine, if your troubleshooting cabling on a switch with hundreds of ports then your going to need to figure out a way of tracing the cables. but if your sighted is it really that different? if anything it’s harder. Loads of cables that are the same color and your trying to figure out what one your disconnecting from the patch panel? Na. I know from experience it’s equally as difficult for you as it is for me. The only difference is I use touch to determine the wire I need to disconnect.

Give me any IT related problem or system and I promis you, no, I will bet you everything I have that I WILL find a way to access it. Even if that means pulling the thing apart first. I have never found a system that I couldn’t get access to with some work and determination.

But, I’m through explaining my self. I’m through defending my ability any more than the people I work with have to. Sure, assess and judge me on my qualifications, skills and performance, but if you keep bringing the fact I cant see into it I’m through. I will no longer put up with this. I have to say though, my boss is great. he has always been open. I understood that he had reservations when highering me. He discussed them with me and I convinced him that he had nothing to worry about. I’ve proven this to him as well over the past two years. I really appreciate that he saw past it and continues to do same. It just really annoys me that people who know me just as well cant or don’t.

Before I got here, there were similar conversations. Will he be able to do this, will he be able to do that, what if blah blah blah blah blah. That was fine at the time. I understood that they had most likely not met someone with a visual impairment so therefore couldn’t be expected to understand that their worries were unfounded.

I have no problem explaining to people and demonstrating even at times that something can be done without sight. That’s not the issue.

I’m just tired.
Now, I’m going into a new job, learning a lot more in the process but I’m going to have a battle on my hands. A battle to constantly proove my self. A battle to show that they do not need to treat me any differently because I cannot see.

I’m tired of it.

I was looking forward to learning without this being a factor.

I’m pissed off.

I’m insulted.

When will this end. When will I be able to get on with things without this coming up. It’s stupid. It’s high time that people saw past it.


2 Responses to Do I constantly have to proove my self? When will that end?

  1. Avatar crashmaster
    crashmaster says:

    Hi.
    havn’t had this happen yet as such though I have found a few things that are advantages to being blind
    we can do everything on the keyboard meaning we are faster.
    no moving mice round.
    I also find I can assemble hardware things ports faster especially when they are in obvious places, though people ask me if I need help and i tell them to shut up, can’t concerntrate on cables.
    brings up an interesting poing, gona change one of the systems printer ports to usb from paralel because the config is weird on that port on the printer.
    its nice and vertical.
    ert